En route to visit the Offspring, the awful truth struck me suddenly in the middle of my lumber vertebra. The suitcase that I had been hoisting with great ease and dexterity for the last twenty years, suddenly caught me in a vice like grip of pain. And what's more .. there is now a blind and frantic grapple for the specs as I am no longer able to read signs of any description, due to some sudden strange eye disease that I have contracted !!
Worst of all those expensive creams I have been purchasing for my face are now failing to smooth out the lines until at least midday, and whats more, a thick layer of subcutaneous fat is rapidly encompassing my middle from below my bust to just above my knees.
The horrid truth has finally dawned -- the dreadful things they have been saying about the Baby Boomers, have at last arrived !!
We Baby Boomers, according to the fundis, were born anywhere between 1946 and 1964.
Caused of course by the elation of victory and large numbers of returning troops to their country after the end of World War II thus triggering off a baby boom.
In those days most Rhodesians were fighting for King and country as a colony of Britain, and both my Mum and Dad were in the British Royal Airforce stationed at Kumalo Airport in Bulawayo. Hence Baby Boomers abound in Zim today.
Whatever year we were born, we Boomers came of age at the same time across the world, so that while Britain was undergoing Beatlemania ...... people in the United States were driving over to Woodstock, organizing against the Vietnam War, or fighting and dying in the same war.
18 year old Boomers in Italy were dressing in mod clothes and "buying the world a Coke", boomers in India were seeking new philosophical discoveries, American boomers in Canada had just found a new home after escaping the draft south of the border, and boomers in Mexico were discovering new hallucinogenic drugs and rediscovering old ones.
Boomers in Zimbabwe didn't even know about the term Boomer and were not doing anything special except enjoying ourselves as normal healthy teenagers !!
Every day hundreds of thousands of the baby boomers born between 1946 and 1964, celebrate their 50th birthdays. The very earliest Boomers (if you do your maths) have already hit the seventies!!!! And thousands of them are finding, as I have found, that we are not as infallible as we always thought we were !!
The art of Travelling to Hee Hoo and to me, had become second nature, easy almost, but suddenly the jet lag takes longer to shake off, and whereas before we were iron-men travellers now we feel like dented pieces of luggage after a long haul flight.
Suddenly instead of drinking champagne and watching the movies all night long, we are drinking water and doing exercises to try and avoid DVT .... Gone are the days when we could haul huge amounts of luggage across the concourse, now we have to settle for lightweight luggage and a couple of ibuprofen beforehand !!
And then of course there is all that vulnerability to those germs that lurk around in aeroplanes, trying to keep those little nasties at bay takes a whole suitcase full of unguents and medications.
Oh the joys of being a Baby Boomer !!
Those halcyon days are gone now, when HeeHoo and I would backpack across soggy foggy Ireland, when we would find comfort and joy sleeping on a wooden bed in freezing cold spartan mountain huts in Chimanimani, with only a sleeping bag and a pair of hiking boots, and we would often drive, seven of us, in a tiny un-airconditioned car, across deserts for three days !!
These days I love my private space and turned-down percale sheets. I yearn for that occasional upgrade to business class, I love having porters to carry my luggage, I look for the elevators and not the stairs in airports and hotels.
As we geriatric Boomers approach our old age, will it still be 19 hour long hauls across the world's various oceans from now on to visit the fledglings who have fled the nest, or will we have to resort to compression stockings and cruises
But excuse me, its time for my nap.......