Tears of joy and yet tears of regret. We have spent our young lives under a cruel dictatorship, living from election to election, wishing, hoping, praying for CHANGE. And now Praise be to God, we are free.
It has been a bewildering week, a week of tension, fear, euphoria....
Almost every Zimbabwean heaved a sigh of relief a week ago when the General made that startling statement. But a shadow lurked in the back of our minds as we recall exactly how many times the wily old man has out manoeuvred us....
Sitting safely in Atlanta has been agonising, how many times we wished so deeply we could be home with our Countrymen, marching, waving flags, being part of this confusing, inexplicable scenario.
How would I have felt setting off for a march against a man that has ruled us with an iron first for 37 years. My own fear at my incarceration will never go away, even though eight years have passed since my five nights in solitary confinement.
Without a doubt HeeHoo and I would have been there, in a march which started hesitantly, but which ended in a joyous mood, full of elation with the military, black, white all races, colours and creeds marching shoulder to shoulder, wearing and waving our National Flag.
Our family has barely slept for days, pacing, discussing, trawling the internet, scouring Twitter and Facebook for any glimmer of light and positivity. My stomach has been in perpetual knot.
As fate would kindly have it, our youngest daughter, who also fell foul of the ZRP and was badly beaten, has anchored many hours on CNN this weekend, giving full coverage of the Zimbabwe situation.
Then the jokes started. One Zimbabwean tweeted 'this coup is more peaceful than our many of our recent elections. Let's have a coup every five years instead!'
People nicknamed it a noncoup. A 'zoup', A 'coup de Grace'- a play on words because Mugabe's wife is blamed by many for the fractures in the ruling party and this current 'situation with the tanks' .
The most poignant joke of all did the rounds after his EPIC speech on Sunday.
Question -'How do you get a champagne cork back in the bottle Answer - Ask 15 million Zimbabweans' !!
My heart goes out to the millions displaced Diasporans of all races, to the countless activists who lost their lives, to the Farmers who lost their land, their livelihoods and some their lives.
How much agony has been wrought by one man on so many How many poverty stricken people scrape together a meagre living day after dreary day How many folk have died needlessly because of a lack of basic drugs in our hospitals. How many people have died prematurely because of diseases that are controllable in most countries
My thoughts turn to the Activists who have laid their lives on the line year after year, The WOZA women, the Churches, the Lawyers and Human Rights Organisations, the Journalists who have died, been beaten, interred, for telling their story.
So many people have suffered so horribly and will never get these 37 years back.... So many bright people have left the Country, so many brilliant minds are being used in other countries, so many millions of people living lives of quiet despair far away from Home.
Precious thoughts of the Zimbo who stayed behind to face his wrath. Precious thoughts of the Zimbos all over the world who left their history to carve a new life. Precious thoughts of the loved ones that passed away in foreign countries with only their ashes returning to their beloved Zimbabwe.
Its all over now, nothing can possibly be as bad as this past 37 years. We know there is a rocky road ahead, but somehow it is all totally eclipsed by the resignation of one man who has made the lives of countless millions a misery for 37 long years.
God Bless Zimbabwe and its Beautiful, Patient people.