Morning Mirror Edition 224 - 29/1/2007




In this edition

Smalls



Colour


COLOUR BLIND

IF YOU COME AND VISIT US HERE IN ZIMBABWE, DON'T FOR ONE MINUTE THINK THAT THE RULES OF THE ROAD APPLY TO ANYONE AT ALL... EXCEPT POSSIBLY YOURSELF......

THE ZIMBABWEAN PUBLIC HAS A COLOUR PROBLEM ....RED, GREEN AND ORANGE ALL MEAN "GO" IT WOULD APPEAR !!! WE CALL OUR TRAFFIC LIGHTS ROBOTS, YES, LIKE THOSE MECHANICAL THINGS THAT WALK AROUND WITH STIFF LEGS !! IT CAUSE MUCH MIRTH WITH VISITORS BUT THEY LOSE THEIR SENSE OF HUMOUR WHEN THEY SEE MOST PEOPLE TAKE ABSOLUTELY NO NOTICE OF REDS AND ORANGES.

NOW, BE CAUTIONED AND TAKE MY ADVICE, DO NOT THINK THAT GREEN MEANS YOUR RIGHT OF PASSAGE, TREAT EVERY ROBOT AS A STOP STREET AND PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

DURING POWER CUTS, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE THINK THAT WE TREAT OUR NON FUNCTIONING TRAFFIC LIGHTS AS A FOUR WAY STOP (AS THEY DO IN THE REST OF THE CIVILISED WORLD)

OH NO SIREE, IF THE ROBOT IS NOT WORKING, ITS THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE THAT TAKES OVER.... THE BIGGEST, FIERCEST, OLDEST BEAST IN THE JUNGLE WINS...EITHER THAT OR IT'S THE FASTEST CAR TO THE MIDDLE !!

ANOTHER BIT OF ADVICE....BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN ZIMBABWE AND TOTALLY IGNORE THE PEDESTRIAN CROSSINGS. IF YOU DO THE COURTEOUS THING AND STOP FOR A PEDESTRIAN...THE FELLOW IN THE NEXT LANE WILL TAKE NO NOTICE AND WIPE OUT THE POOR UNSUSPECTING PEDUS !!

THE ZEBRA STRIPES ARE ILLEGIBLE AT ANY RATE, THEY ARE USUALLY ON A BEND OR ON THE BROW OF A HILL, WITH NO WARNING SIGNS OR LIGHTS, AND THE PAINT IS SO FAINT YOU ARE HIGLY UNLIKELY TO BE ABLE TO SEE THEM AT ANY-RATE...

ALSO YOU WASTE A LOT OF TIME TRYING TO GENTLY SHOO A PEDESTRIAN TO CROSS IN FRONT OF YOU, COS BELIEVE ME, HE AIN'T GONNA TRUST YOU, NO WAYS WILL HE BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PUT YOUR FOOT FLAT THE MOMENT HE STEPS OF THAT FIRST WHITE LINE !!

VEHICLE ROAD WORTHINESS IS ANOTHER INTERESTING ASPECT OF ZIMBABWEAN DRIVING...WHO ON EARTH WOULD EXPECT ONE TO HAVE EITHER HEAD LIGHTS OR TAIL LIGHTS...DON'T BE SILLY, LIGHTS ARE FOR SISSIES ....

MAKE SURE YOU PEER HARD INTO THE DARK AND SUSS THE ROAD OUT CAREFULLY BEFORE CROSSING, AS THOSE CARS WITHOUT LIGHTS ALWAYS COME OUT AT NIGHT AS THERE ARE NO POLICE AT NIGHT TO CATCH THEY OF COURSE !!

MIND YOU, IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THE POLICE AND THE CITY COUNCIL ARE DOING THEIR BEST THESE DAYS TO ELEVATE US FROM THE STATUS OF BEING THE WILD WEST OF SOUTHERN AFRICA THANK GOODNESS. MUCH MUTTERING IS BEING HEARD FROM ERRANT CITIZENS WHO HAVE HAD THEIR CARS CLAMPED IN NO PARKING AREAS.

THE MAYORESS OF DUNCAN ROAD AND THE MUSICAL MAYOR OF TOWNSEND ROAD WERE BOTH SEEN RECENTLY TROTTING DOWN TO THE REVENUE HALL, TO PAY FINES AND RELEASE THEIR AUTOMOBILES......


CONGRATULATIONS



A very special happy birthday to my Mom, Loraine Simpson of Bradfield Bulawayo who is 70 on 29 January. We wish we could be with you and enjoy your day.
Love and miss you
Stuart, Joanne, Josh, Amber and Sam xxx (Bradford, England)

Maurice and Lorna Beckley have pleasure in announcing the engagement of their youngest son Heath to Bonnie only daughter of Lorraine Baird and the Late James Truter in Cape Town on the 23rd December 2006.


CONDOLENCES

SMART - Noel - Our heartfelt sympathy to Jenny,Mark, Garrick and Darren on the sudden passing of Noel - a life long friend.
'We'll have a drink and catch the big one for you at Kariba'
Our love to you all - Nigel, Colette, Paul, Ian and Granny.

SMART NOEL
Loving brother-in-law of Ray and Cindy, uncle of Rob & Chels, taken suddenly. We are all left with the shock of your sudden passing on Saturday 20th January 2007, but God's timing is always right. Jen, we're all here for you so don't worry.
Lots of love to Jen, Mark, Garrick and Darren.

Could you please advise the Bulawayo public in general and the swimming fraternity in particular that we have just been notified of the passing of Douglas James in Port Elizabeth on the 1st January after a painful illness age 41.
Doug and Cheryl (his sister) will be remembered for their contribution to swimming for many years in Bulawayo at Provincial and National Level. Douglas leaves a wife and two children.
Please add to this our heartfelt sympathy for Maureen and Ken, Karen and family (in America) and Cheryl and family in Johannesburg. We will always remember the good times we shared.
From Peggy Tony and Richard Morgan And Kim, Simon, Tyler and Toni Bloomhill from Cape Town

JILL PAYNE
This is just a note to let all you dear ones know that Jill went to be with her Lord at 9.55 last night. She had a very difficult last eight days, with not being able to take any food at all, only water. At the end Trevor and Debbie, Cortenay and Devan, Merrilee and Kelvin, Steph and myself were all with her and watched and held her as she slipped peacefully into His presence. We do not mourn as those who have no hope as she is rejoicing with all those who have likewise gone to be with Jesus.
The memorial service is to be held at Honeyridge Baptist Church on Monday 29 January at 2.30pm. Denis & Jill Payne are from Byo...left end of 2002 to live in SA. They were active members of the Baptist Church, & Jill was a leading member of Christian Womens' Club. They were both well known in Byo circles. Unfortunately she has been very ill with cancer.
Denis had a printing business in Byo( I think? he was in business with the Palmgrens?). They lived in Percy Rd Hsde. Their address in Jbg is 28 Afsaal, 55 6th street, Linden 2195. ph 011 782 6641 & Denis cell 072 149 9863.
COLLEEN HENDERSON

The memorial service for the late Rodney Derek King will be held at the Church of the Ascension, Hillside, on Thursday 1st February 2007 at 3.30pm. Would friends kindly accept this intimation.



TOM MARSH - DEEPEST SYMPATHY TO DENZIL AND GWEN



GEORGE SMITH - OUR SINCERE CONDOLENCES FROM CHAIRMAN AND TRUSTEES OF EDITH DULY NURSING HOME


TIDBITS


FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,

PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:
1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness

PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another

NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another

TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME:
1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends

WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE. THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.


There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those.
--Michael Nolan


'It is in the fire that the intensity of the clay is tested
And its spirit is allowed to dance.
It is in the fire where the fierce light pierces to the core and the once fragile become strong.
It is in the fire where an individual piece of clay claims its own true identity.
Some of the most beautiful pieces will crumble under the extreme conditions, While other average looking pieces will get stronger and take on whole new identities.
Whatever the case, the process is not complete until the clay has had its time in the fire.'
- unknown -




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