MORNING MIRROR EDITION 94 1 JUNE 2004 Virex check completed PLEASE NOTE THAT THE MIRROR CAN ONLY DEAL WITH E MAIL QUERIES, PLEASE DO NOT PHONE IN YOUR ADVERTS AND QUERIES... ONLY E MAILS WILL BE CONSIDERED +++++++++ ADVERTISERS !! IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A DONATION FOR YOUR ADVERT PLEASE MAKE A CHEQUE TO "EDITH DULY NURSING HOME" AND LET ME KNOW AT "http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=magskriel@mac.com" ++++++++++ IN THIS EDITION 1 WRINKLES AND SUCH LIKE 2 SMALLS 3 THOUGHTS FROM ABROAD 4 CONDOLENCES 5 TIDBITS ++++++++ WRINKLES AND SUCH LIKE IT WAS THAT ONE PARTICULAR WRINKLE THAT HAD THE MOST PROFOUND EFFECT ON ME...I MEAN...THERE ARE WRINKLES AND THERE ARE WRINKLES... THERE ARE THE WRINKLES AROUND THE EYES - THE LAUGH LINES" THEY ARE CALLED...AND THERE ARE THE WRINKLES AROUND THE MOUTH "LINES OF FORTITUDE AND STRENGTH...AND THERE ARE THOSE TWO DEEP ONES ALONGSIDE THE NOSE " CHARACTER LINES" THEY ARE CALLED, BUT NO ONE...NO ONE HAS EVER...GIVEN A NAME TO THE WRINKLES ON THE BACK OF ONES NECK... IT WAS ALL MOTHERS FAULT, BLESS HER DEAR DEPARTED HEART..... SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME, AT THE TENDER AND IMPRESSIONABLE AGE OF 12, THAT I WOULD NEVER BE A TRUE BEAUTY BECAUSE THE SPACE BETWEEN MY TOP LIP AND MY NOSE WAS TOO BIG. ONE HAD TO BE ABLE TO HOLD A PENCIL THERE FOR TEN SECONDS TO BE A BEAUTY... NOW TWO PROBLEMS AROSE INSTANTLY, THE FIRST I HAD NEVER BEFORE THOUGHT OF BEAUTY, AND THE SECOND THING WAS TO PRACTISE WITH THIS PENCIL THING.... IT NEVER WORKED HOWEVER, TRY AS I MAY I COULD NOT CLOSE THAT DREADFUL GAP BETWEEN MY TOP LIP AND MY NOSE. BUT THAT WAS NOT ALL, ONCE THE GLARING DEFICIENCIES IN MY TOP LIP HAD BEEN REVEALED, MY NOSE THEN CAME UNDER THE SPOTLIGHT. "AQUILINE" WAS MOTHERS COMMENT...NOBLE, YET AQUILINE" MY DARLING BROTHER QUIPPED 'WELL ITS MORE LIKE A ROMAN NOSE...ROAMIN ALL OVER YOUR FACE " ACCOMPANIED BY A GREAT DEAL OF BROTHERLY LOVING MIRTH... WHAT MADE IT WORSE WAS THAT I LOOKED UP THE WORD "AQUIFER" IN THE DICTIONARY AND THERE IT WAS - DESCRIPTION OF MY NOSE AND I QUOTE " A DEPOSIT OF ROCK, SUCH AS SANDSTONE, CONTAINING WATER THAT CAN BE USED TO SUPPLY WELLS" YOU CAN IMAGINE MY CONSTERNATION AND CONCERN, IT WAS ONLY MANY TEARS AND MANY YEARS LATER THAT I LEARNT NOT TO CONFUSE THE WORDS AQUILINE AND AQUIFER !! "GRECIAN" WOULD HAVE BEEN A PREFERABLE ADJECTIVE, BUT AQUILINE ? I ASK YOU WITH TEARS IN MY EYES, WHO ON EARTH NEEDS AN AQUILINE NOSE IN THIS DAY AND AGE OF THE COVERTED ROSEBUD NOSE, THE RETROUSSE NOSE AND THE UP-TURNED NOSE? I USED TO MAKE SURE I WATCHED EVERY BARBARA STREISAND MOVIE BECAUSE HER NOSE, AS IT WAS BEFORE THE DAYS OF COSMETIC SURGERY, MADE ANYBODY'S NOSE LOOK GOOD !! NOW NOT BEING IN THE LEAST BIT NASCISISTIC HERSELF, MOTHER WAS TOTALLY IMPERVIOUS TO THE EFFECT THIS SELF DISSECTION WAS HAVING ON HER ONLY DAUGHTER MUM HAD BEEN A NATURAL BEAUTY, AND SHE WAS THE ONLY PERSON WHO WAS TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO THIS FACT. WHEN GRANDFATHER WAS THE MINE MANAGER IN SHABANI MUM WAS CROWNED "ASBESTOS QUEEN". SHE AND HER SISTER CORYNNE EACH HAD A REGAL MOP OF THICK CURLY LUSTROUS MAHOGANY RED HAIR. HAIR WHICH NEEDED BUT A STRONG COMB AND A WEEKLY WASH TO KEEP IT LOOKING MAGNIFICENT. ALL THE MORTON SISTERS NEEDED WAS THEIR LOOSE POWDER COMPACT, DABBED HAPHAZARDLY ACROSS THEIR ENTICING FRECKLES, LIPSTICK APPLIED WITHOUT ANY DUE CARE AND ATTENTION AND OFF THEY WENT TO CONQUER HEARTS AND TURN HEADS. AND THE MORTON GIRLS HAD BRAINS AND BRAWN AS WELL AS BEAUTY, HEAD GIRL AT CHAPLIN (THE SAME YEAR AS IAN SMITH AND AIDEN DIGGENDEN), BEIT SCHOLARS, FIRST TEAM HOCKEY , FIRST TEAM TENNIS, WELL THEY JUST AHD EVERYTHING, THOSE MORTON TWINS, AND THEY EXPECTED THEIR DAUGHTERS TO HAVE IT ALL TOO. AND SO COUSIN TOOTIE AND I WERE INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD OF THE HAVES AND THE HAVE NOTS. OUR HAIR, INHERITED FROM THESE TWO RED HEADED BEAUTIES, WAS LIMP AND MOUSEY AND NEEDED DAILY WASHING, BLOW DRYING AND GROOMING. OUR LIVES CHANGED HOWEVER WHEN HIGHLIGHTS WERE INVENTED, AND I PROMISE TO STAY IN ZIMBABWE ONLY AS LONG AS MY STYLIST MARK PROMISES TO STAY !! BUT, I DIGRESS, BACK TO THAT WRINKLE ON THE BACK OF THE NECK. AFTER WRESTLING WITH THE TOP LIP, AND THE AQUIFER NOSE, I WAS THEN ADVISED OF THE MORTON FAMILY PREPONSITY TOWARDS THE "DOUBLE CHIN".... IT RAN IN THE FAMILY, AND AS THE MORTON GIRLS WERE BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED AND BRAINY, A MERE DOUBLE CHIN WAS NOT GOING TO BE ALLOWED TO RUIN THE MARRIAGE MARKET. AND SO ALL EFFORTS WERE TURNED TOWARDS ELIMINATING THE DOUBLE CHIN. NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO AVOID GETTING A DOUBLE CHIN, IS TO ROLL YOUR TONGUE UP LIKE A CHAMELEON AND TOUCH THE BACK OF YOUR TONSILS. DO THIS AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN DURING AN AVERAGE DAY, AND YOU WILL SO STRENGTHEN YOUR GIZZRD ENOUGH TO AVOID SUFFERING THE EMBARRASSING INDIGNITY OF A DOUBLE CHIN..... BUT.... WHAT MOTHER FAILED TO TELL ME, THAT AS FAST AS I WAS CURLING MY PROBOSCIS UP CHAMELEON FASHION, I WAS THROWING MY NECK BACK IN AN AKWARD FASHION...AND HENCE...MOTHER NATURE'S CRUEL TWIST OF FATE...THIS DEEP, INDELIBLE, GARGANTUAN, WRINKLE WOULD APPEAR ON THE BACK OF MY NECK.... OH IT'S A CRUEL CRUEL WORLD IS IT NOT ? +++++++++++++++ ANTI HIJACK TRUST - BULAWAYO UPDATE - 31/05/04 Firstly a big thank you to people coming forward requesting me to give speeches. Finally I feel that our awareness is taking place in Bulawayo and more people are being woken up as to what is going on around them. 2 incidents that have been reported to me are as follows: Mrs K came home from shopping one day, noticed there was no-one around on the street, opened her electric gate and drove straight to her carport. She went inside and upon hearing another car coming behind her, her husband ran out to see what was happening. He was held at gun point and made to lie down on the ground while 2 other men ran inside. One man hit her cook in the stomach when he rushed at them, making him fall to the ground and they then proceeded to grab hold of Mrs K. She had already placed her keys in the dining room and her handbag in the office. When the one man asked for the keys and she moved to get them out of the dining room, he hit her across the side of her face with the butt of his pistol. She told him the keys were in the dining room, so he ushered her there. The other then wanted her handbag and cell phone, of which she directed him to the office. He grabbed them and also saw a camera and stole that on the way out. One man had stopped the gate by blocking it, thus the reason for easy access. The second incident, was where a woman visited a friend to get documents signed. She parked her car outside and was chatting to her friend, when 2 men walking down the road, approached them. Mrs L thought they were just vendors, so she told them to go away. With that, the one man had a truncheon in his hand and tried to hit her, thankfully she realised what was happening and moved out of the way. They asked for her car keys and she said they were inside, so the aggressive man went to her friend, who was an elderly lady and threatened to hurt her unless Mrs L gave them her carkeys. The old lady also had her gate keys and told them they were her own. Mrs L gave them her carkeys, and asked the one man for her handbag or ID or glasses. This young man was in the throes of giving them to her, when the aggressive man shouted at him to drive away. These incidences show people that 1) DO NOT drive straight to your parking area when arriving home. Stop at your gate and wait for it to close behind you before proceeding further down the drive way. 2) DO NOT park outside anyone's gate if you are just popping in for a minute - others have been caught in this situation and are now carless. 3) DO NOT pay the police to try and keep hijackers in prison - the police are already approached by the hijackers gang to let them go, so do not start a game with the police as to "who goes to the highest bidder" you are just opening doors for more bribery in this country. If you are worried that these men will be released, contact higher officers in the police or even magistrates, as at that level through the AG's office, magistrates are NOT ALLOWED to release these men. The hijackers are supposed to only appeal at High Court level for bail which should be set at an extremely high cost. The Trust is here to support you. Please contact me if you have been hijacked or know of someone who has been and not contacted me. I am here for counselling and if you don't want that, I need the statistics. My contact number 011- 701 323 or http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=crime@mweb.co.zw Tracey Burns is available to give talks to schools, companies, and individual groups. Please contact her on the above number or email address to book now. Also donations are grately appreciated towards the Trust to help it's continuance. +++++ For Rent: 1 Bedroom Cottage in Matsheumlope. Comprising of kitchen, bathroom, lounge, verendah in garden setting. Contact Rod at 9/280758 or 091354118 on Saturday or Sunday Mornings only. Rent Negotiable. +++++++++ BULAWAYO PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA Just a short reminder that there will be a BPO Concert this coming SATURDAY, 5 JUNE at 8.15 in the Sibson Hall. Corrado Trinci will be conducting and the programme will include: Pachelbel: Canon in D major Warlock: Capriol Suite Galuppi: Concerto for two flutes in E minor Telemann: Suite in D major Booking is open at Meikles and tickets are $3 000.00 for members, $6 000.00 for non-members and free to Red Carpet subscribers. They will, of course, also be available at the door on the n ++++++ IGANYANA ARTS in Dete, a community development project of PAINTED DOG CONSERVATION is in need of the following, prereably donated, but if you have available at reasonable cost Please contact us: old wildlife, travel magazine; a reading/desk lamp (if for desk with a small base); art, craft and office supplies; audio tape player; plastic kitchen containers - square not round, tables, chairs and benches; sewing machines in good working order. We are also looking for source to purchase beads at wholesale. If you have any information about this it would be most appreciated. Contact: Wendy Blakeley at http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=PDCwendy@mweb.co.zw or 011-619-327, OR http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=PDHRHQ@mweb.co.zw ; 018 710 ++++++ VICTORIA FALLS HOTEL CENTENARY CELEBRATIONS FRIDAY 4 JUNE TO SUNDAY 6 JUNE The Victoria Falls Hotel has requested that some vintage cars be present at their Centenary celebrations scheduled to be held on the dates above. The owners of the vintage cars in the club, who are prepared to use them, were requested to take part. To this end four vintage cars (three Model T's and one Model A) will set off to the Falls on Wednesday 02 June 2004. The start of the epic journey will be covered by "THE INDEPENDENT" and also by "THE STANDARD". They will also have photographers and journalists at the Victoria Falls Hotel over the weekend in order to record the festivities! As Major Duly brought the first car into this Country and as four FORDS are involved in the journey, the start will be at DULY & CO. (Jason Moyo Street/11th Avenue) at 7.00 am on Wednesday 02 June. It would be very nice if club members gathered there in order to wish this gallant little group the best of luck on their journey. The first nights stop is planned for Hwange Game Reserve, some 290 km away, a long way to go at 20 to 30 km/hour! Hope to see you 7.00am on Wednesday. Brian Louth ++++++++++ For Sale: - 4 metre pale green venetian blinds - Large 2 1/2 metre tall ornamental bamboo in pot - Large 2 1/2 metre tall palm tree in Alibaba pot Please telephone 886187 +++++ VW KOMBI - 1984 model, 8 seater, left-hand drive. Excellent runner, ideal for schools, delivery vehicle, Emergency Taxi or family outings. Contact: Mr Moyo - 091.322.683 or 886190-7 ++++++ FOR SALE Sideboard $175000 Wooden wardrobe with mirror $250000 White chest of drawers - 6 drawers $300000 White Wooden Wash basket $20000 White Dressing table and stool $250000 Lounge centre table (Oval) and 4 side tables $150000 Padded stool $15000 TV Cabinet (used for storing video tapes) $125000 Single bed with mattress and headboard with Shelves and drawers $350000 Wooden chest of drawers - 4 drawer $200000 4 plate Kevinator Stove $500000 Wooden Bookcase ( No back) $50000 3 High backed benches - seats lift to store goodies $150000 each Kaylite cutter - Offers Very special Royal Standard Tea Set - Highest offer Miscellaneous items including games,poker chips and stands,electric blanket,TV games etc. Donation will be made to Edith Duly Call Ken Scott 206769 (evenings) 091 303741 Sherryl Scott 091 312579 ++++ WANTED BY COLLECTOR I WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE MEDALS AND MILITARIA FOR MY PERSONAL COLLECTION AND CAN GUARANTEE FAIR PRICES PHONE JOHN BANNISTER ON 242954 AFTER HOURS OR E MAIL http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=john.bannister@natfood.co.zw +++++++ ARE YOU IMMIGRATING AND CONCERNED ABOUT EMPLOYMENT AND INCOME WHEN YOU ARRIVE? OR DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS OR FAMILY IN FAR AWAY PLACES WHO NEED EXTRA INCOME ? We have the opportunity you have been waiting for ! * Register your business in one of 58 countries ! * Work from home - at your own pace in your own time as your own boss ! * Earn a couple of hundred dollars a month or achieve your dream income ! * Full training provided wherever you are - no experience in business or selling required ! * Support structure with a social life giving you the opportunity meet new people & make new friends ! Start now and be ready to generate your income on your arrival. Please visit http://www.hometowealth.com/ and http://www.perfecthomebasedbusiness.com/ (access code fkp234) For more information call Kim on 011 - 70 20 30 ++++++ FOR SALE 1. Stunning dinner and tea service with oriental design and gold inlay. 2. Hostess hot tray, almost as new. Telephone 242989 +++++++ SECRETARY/BOOKKEEPER REQUIRED FOR BUSY RETAIL OUTLET, SALARY NEGOTIABLE, TO START SOONEST POSSIBLE. PHONE 011410911 OR E-MAIL http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=jofe@mweb.co.zw ++++++++ name: CD Lazear email: http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=lazear@barak-online.net phone: +27723243859 fax: message: I'd like to use Ambert's bus from Joburg to Bulawayo, do you have his SA number? +++++ I offer a person to person sales and delivery service on most office and home appliances, including good brand names such as " LG, Panasonic, Defy, Sony, Nokia " etc etc. I guarantee these items from factory defects. My charges are - simply the price YOU as a customer can buy these goods by shopping yourself in any stores such as " Game, Metro, Cash Converters, Hi Fi Corp. " etc etc. In other words - " OFF THE SHELF " price. I personally deliver these goods with no extra hidden costs, except whatever Zimra duties that may be applicable. I stick to my quoted priceS ....... SO ... how do i make my profit??? By offering such a SERVICE ... and by collective bargaining. Do you know of any one needing anything? Regards, Graeme John Grenfell-Dexter "Dex" (Dex Merchant Services) Tel: +263 9 281481 280844 +263 11 602 105 ++++++ Please could you advertise the following:- Isuzu KB250 twin cab with canopy, 1997 model. Good condition NetOne (two) phone lines (contract) Motorolla two way base set radio One Single air bed mattress with pump Contact phone numbers = 09 234757 or 011 416937 +++++++++ HOSTESS TROLLY NEEDED DO YOU HAVE AN HOSTESS TROLLY THAT YOU ARE NOT USING AND WOULD LIKE TO SELL ? please e mail "http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=magskriel@mac.com" ___________ BOOKEEPING SERVICES I am a computerised Bookeeper (up to trial balance) - so if you are in need of someone to help you with your monthly accounts please give me a call - Isobel on 227293. Rates negotiable. ++++++++++ MASSAGE TABLE/BED REQUIRED - if reasonably priced, please phone Teresa on 886784 A/H. +++++++++ Home for sale Tel 244689(h) or 011 430 269 Well loved 3 Bedroomed home in Malindela with one bathroom and two toilets. Origin pine doors and windows, newly tiled and carpeted rooms. Recently redone kitchen with hob and oven. 3/4 acre . Good borehole, recently marbled and paved pool and outside area, with fountain. Established trees and garden. Partly razor wired, fully walled with electric fence all around and safeguard response buttons. Electric Gate. Outside buildings include lock up garage/laundry, 3 roomed office, single servants quarters and Lewis lumber shed, both with electricity. Car Low mileage, Mazda 626, well looked after with Rockford sound system. Mags and low profiles. Tel 011 430 269 or 244689 ++++++ GOODBYE JACK BUCKELL ONE OF BULAWAYO'S REAL CHARACTERS HAS LEFT FOR THE UK TO BE WITH HIS DAUGHTER ADELE. JACK BUCKELL, TALENTED MUSICIAN, PIANO TEACHER SECOND TO NONE, AN AMAZING MAN, WISE AND WONDERFUL, WE WILL MISS YOU S0 MUCH JACK, FROM JOHN, MARGOT AND MAGGIE (the Thursday group) E MAIL - http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=abls10748@blueyonder.co.uk ++++++++++++ Seeking employment. I am male 53 years of age, married with 2 children, seeking employment as farm/ranch manager, butchery manager, safari camp manager, catering manager to start soonest contact Ian Johnston on Bulawayo 237240 or e-mail http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=owlswood@gator.co.zw +++++ Looking for a maid. I am desperately looking for a "trained" maid to do housework and must be HONEST and RELIABLE and of course willing to work. If she cooks that is great and if she has been with children that is also a plus. http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=theallens@netconnect.co.zw +++++++ MIKE'S KITCHEN FOR PARTIES, SUNDOWNERS, BUSINESS MEETINGS OR ANY OTHER FUNCTION, CONTACT MIKE HANCOCK FOR ALL YOUR SNACK REQUIREMENTS. TELEPHONE 240086. +++++ This e-mail involves two requests and Hazel suggested that I contact you. The girls in the senior hostel are wanting to fund raise to replace the video that they had which was stolen and or to but a vivi decoder so that they can get SABC as well. Hazel wondered if there were any of those itms being advertized on your Morning Mirror as there seemto be many people leaving? +++++ Wanted:- Horse Riding Hat - size 6 3/4 Please phone Fiona 244197 ++++++++++ FOR SALE 1 x New Canon Power Shot S10. 2.1 Mega Pixels Digital Camera c/w computer cables (new battery) - $2,0 million 1 x Compact Armada 7770 DMT 3 GIG Laptop (No battery). Suit entry-level learner - $1,5 million 1 x Almost new 6 man bell-tent with fly sheet and built-in groundsheet ($2 miilion new) - $800,000 9 x Ext/Int Wall Flush-mount semi-sealed bayonet light fittings (The ) - $250,000 A percentage of the proceeds WILL be donated to Edith Duly Nursing Home and Dad's Army at the gate. Please call Dr John Fulton on (09) 240621 after hours or email http://us.f304.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=paradigm@mweb.co.zw +++++++++ FOR SALE Bernette 234 Overlocker - 4 reel - very good condition $1,5 Million Phone THEA 244205/71631 ++++++ Home for sale Tel 244689(h) or 011 430 269 Well loved 3 Bedroomed home in Malindela with one bathroom and two toilets. Origin pine doors and windows, newly tiled and carpeted rooms. Recently redone kitchen with hob and oven. 3/4 acre . Good borehole, recently marbled and paved pool and outside area, with fountain. Established trees and garden. Partly razor wired, fully walled with electric fence all around and safeguard response buttons. Electric Gate. Outside buildings include lock up garage/laundry, 3 roomed office, single servants quarters and Lewis lumber shed, both with electricity. Car Low mileage, Mazda 626, well looked after with Rockford sound system. Mags and low profiles. Tel 011 430 269 or 244689 +++++++ Jewellery Valuations and certificates, for Insurance Etc., Edward Bloomhill, qualified jewellery appraiser, Gemological institute opf America, Official sworn valuator to the master of the High Court of Zimbabwe. For appoinment Phone 2334833, 011 410 025 011 410 024., email